2012 has arrived. I am at the cottage, but I will be returning to the city tomorrow, to return to a life of work & bills & errands. And Mindy, my 8 year old Persian. We didn't bring her with us because she gets horribly car sick. She has an enlarged heart now & I didn't want to stress her. But she is probably lonely & she will be grateful when we return. She is not a lap cat, but I love her & I have missed her. Minus all that hair, she is a small cat, just 7 1/2 lbs or so. She is timid, shy, strong, yet dainty. I, on the other hand, am not timid, shy, strong or dainty. I will be 53 next month, & I need to lose some serious weight. That will be my main challenge for 2012. That & a resolution to learn to be calmer - not my strong suit.
I have been thinking about my daughter. When she was born, I vowed not to make the same mistakes as my parents.But I made new ones. And though I can atone for those, I know now that I cannot change who I am completely. Being a mother has taught me a lot about myself, including the realization that I perhaps should not have become a mother in the first place. I don't seem to have the reservoir of patience & selflessness that is required.
I have been knitting this past week - a deep red shawl with textured stitches & bobbles, in sportweight. I have knit 450 yards & it is still far too small. Thankfully, I have more yarn, so I can add to it. People say I have a lot of patience to knit. I disagree. Knitting has made me more patient. As I sit down & wind the feed yarn around my pinky, I feel the stress leave my body. Now all I need is Mindy to lie down beside me & fall asleep, so I can hear her soft snoring between the clicks of my needles.
I have been thinking about my daughter. When she was born, I vowed not to make the same mistakes as my parents.But I made new ones. And though I can atone for those, I know now that I cannot change who I am completely. Being a mother has taught me a lot about myself, including the realization that I perhaps should not have become a mother in the first place. I don't seem to have the reservoir of patience & selflessness that is required.
I have been knitting this past week - a deep red shawl with textured stitches & bobbles, in sportweight. I have knit 450 yards & it is still far too small. Thankfully, I have more yarn, so I can add to it. People say I have a lot of patience to knit. I disagree. Knitting has made me more patient. As I sit down & wind the feed yarn around my pinky, I feel the stress leave my body. Now all I need is Mindy to lie down beside me & fall asleep, so I can hear her soft snoring between the clicks of my needles.
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