Cottagin again .......
We sold our cottage in June, and it was a miserable summer. Robert was severely depressed. I wanted a getaway ..... maybe rent a cottage for a month - but was blown away by how much it cost. So I had an idea.
What if we bought some land? On a hilltop, closer to our friends. Build a tiny "summer" house we can close up for the winter to save money? No lake frontage would mean lower taxes. A place with just one or two bedrooms, all on one floor.
Well, we bought the land, a gorgeous wooded hilltop lot with a view over Lake Harrington. Just under an acre, with the front of the lot touching on the Lake Association's beach. Perfect for when I abduct my grandson for a weekend ..... & his dog.
But we face  unexpected limitations on what we can build; no less than 915 sq ft footprint, must be winterized, must have an eco-flo septic system, no barnwood exterior, has to have a real foundation, etc. So of course, it's going to cost a lot more than I had originally planned, even if Robert will be building it with a buddy of his.
Robert went from being depressed to being worried about going over budget. Who knew wells were so expensive to drill? That septic systems & driveways were so costly? 
I, on the other hand, have had to mourn the loss of a dream house in order to accept one that will easier on the budget. At least we'll have a screened-in porch. And lots of windows with a view.  And a wood stove.
Although I said we would close up in November, I am now thinking ... maybe we can come up on Christmas Day? Maybe we can close up for January, February & March? Save on heating & pass on the hair-rising driving conditions ..... 
I sometimes think this is crazy, as I need to save more money for retirement. But we are miserable without a cottage. And our friends are in Harrington. So here we go again.
In a few months I will smell like "eau de" bugspray, again. And I won't be knitting for awhile.

A New Year

2012 has arrived. I am at the cottage, but I will be returning to the city tomorrow, to return to a life of work & bills & errands. And Mindy, my 8 year old Persian. We didn't bring her with us because she gets horribly car sick. She has an enlarged heart now & I didn't want to stress her. But she is probably lonely & she will be grateful when we return. She is not a lap cat, but I love her & I have missed her. Minus all that hair, she is a small cat, just 7 1/2 lbs or so. She is timid, shy, strong, yet dainty.

I, on the other hand, am not timid, shy, strong or dainty. I will be 53 next month, & I need to lose some serious weight. That will be my main challenge for 2012. That & a resolution to learn to be calmer - not my strong suit.
I have been thinking about my daughter. When she was born, I vowed not to make the same mistakes as my parents.But I made new ones. And though I can atone for those, I know now that I cannot change who I am completely. Being a mother has taught me a lot about myself, including the realization that I perhaps should not have become a mother in the first place. I don't seem to have the reservoir of patience & selflessness that is required.
I have been knitting this past week - a deep red shawl with textured stitches & bobbles, in sportweight. I have knit 450 yards & it is still far too small. Thankfully, I have more yarn, so I can add to it. People say I have a lot of patience to knit. I disagree. Knitting has made me more patient. As I sit down & wind the feed yarn around my pinky, I feel the stress leave my body. Now all I need is Mindy to lie down beside me & fall asleep, so I can hear her soft snoring between the clicks of my needles.